1. The grading center in New Jersey has burned down.
2. The past three weeks have been declaired as a holiday in which only junk mail is delivered.
3. A crazy english teacher (not mine), rabid from days in the same sweaty room with grading people, ate them.
4. I failed and the college board wants to spare my feelings (highly doubtful on both counts...especially the second).
5. I did so well, they framed my results and forgot to send me mine (a lot less doubtful, but still).
6. The College Board decided to send results by way of telekinisis and I got them by dream (I seriously dreamed about them. I passed US History, which was suprising).
7. OH MY GOSH, THE MAIL IS HERE. Okay, never mind. It was an LL Bean Cataloge.
8. They decided to send them out by reverse alphabetical order, so I was definitely last-ish.
9. They know I haven't read my summer books so they are withholding them until I finish them.
10. Only my English teacher gets them. No, that's totally untrue.
11. They accidentally had the Calculus AB teachers grade them so now they have to be regraded upon the realitization of their error. ("What? This essay isn't about polynomials...oh well...")
12. The College Board is internally corrupt and is selling good/amazing results to the highest bidder.
13. My essay about pennies was sent to the senate for them to consider as policy.
14. My essay on Vietnam pissed them off and was immediately shredded.
15. They thought I plagurized so they sent the essays off for comparison.
16. Any more?
    
    

Anybody else have this problem?


EDIT: Well, two of my rl friends have this problem, turns out. But that's it. I wonder why. Maybe one of the above reasons can explain it. 

I emailed my English teacher at midnight I was so freaked about it. That's weird. Why am I weird? 

On a totally random note: fake plastic nails from Wal-Mart (not acryllics) are the Devil's spawn. Do not buy them to expect to wear them for long periods. I thought I could last a few days. Ha ha, funny. Really amusing. So I decided to pop the little suckers off and reapply them every night by reactivating the glue with a hairdrier.

It was in the instructions, I swear.

I just caught up on my Psych (hopefully I can watch tonight's episode and review it without any problems). I must say, comparing this episode to last's episode was weak. Well, they were 80 years old and in a retirement home…haha. That’s the kind of pun my English teacher would make. LOL

   A missing persons case from a posh retirement community turns into a family affair when Shawn and Gus team up with Henry to solve the case.

Onward, ho!